The Osbournes Wiki

Smell Like Teen Spirits is the fifth episode of the second series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on the January 14, 2003.


Sharon makes amends with her father after not speaking with him for over twenty years. Kelly keeps going out and getting drunk every night, despite Sharon's pleas. Ozzy tries to warn her of the consequences of her actions, as they can't protect her if she gets arrested for underage drinking. Pop star Mandy Moore comes over to the house to hang out with Jack.

Jack also spends a lot of time partying, and ignores his trainer's repeated efforts to get him to change his lifestyle. Kelly and Robert annoy Ozzy when they disturb his sleep with their loud, drunken behavior. Sharon's father tries to give her advice on how to rein in the kids. Kelly becomes very ill after drinking too much, and claims that she is going to stay in all weekend. Sharon intentionally tortures her throughout her hangover by talking about disgusting food items. Ozzy becomes a grandfather when his oldest daughter, Jessica, has a baby girl. Ozzy later becomes addicted to burritos ("Your father can't eat 1 burrito, he has to have 900 burritos").


Smell Like Teen Spirits/ Gallery

Memorable Quotes

"Aww You're a little Grandfather!"
Melinda Varga
— Ozzy's response
"I got so fucking drunk. I was drinking till 7.45 in the morning."
— Kelly Osbourne
"48 hours? Your life has been so eventful! I haven't even taken a shit for 48 hours!"
— Sharon Osbourne
"I don't buy the bullshit between you and your father. I strongly suggest you pick up the fucking phone and call him. That was the worst thing I ever did now they're never off the phone."
— Ozzy Osbourne
"You motherfucking piece of shit was the first one."
— Sharon Osbourne
"Why don't you give a yiddish boy a chance?"
Don Arden
"Can you believe that we never spoke a word together for 20 odd years? Now it's over, I can't believe it. It's great! Family feuds are fucking not worth it!"
— Ozzy Osbourne
"It feels weird to be a grandfather."
— Ozzy Osbourne
"Y'know I told Kelly that my headmistress told me that I would amount to nothing, well she can eat my shit."
— Sharon Osbourne
"Pretend you're fucking in third grade and go to bed early!"
— Sharon Osbourne
"You're just as drunk as I am, don't pretend not to be."
— Kelly Osbourne to Robert
"This fucking madhouse is driving me crazy!"
— Ozzy Osbourne
"You know they have this line for abused children, if children get abused by their parents, there's an emergency number that kids call up. Kelly called it one time. So listen! She called the emergency abuse line and she said "My mother has just smacked me" And so the person said "Why did your mother smack you?" And she said, "Because I told her to suck a donkey's dick" And donkey's dick. The guy on the phone said "Your mother was right, and don't call here again!" And he hung up on her. So she was pissed off with him because he hung up on her. I think there should be a parents abuse line, for abused parents to call when the kids keep having a go at parents."
— Sharon Osbourne
"All I can say to all this is, thank God there isn't a fourth one."
— Don Arden
"Your father can't eat one burrito, he has to have 900 burritos."
— Sharon Osbourne
"OI! Get away from my fucking burrito you little bastard!"
— Ozzy Osbourne
"Be nice to me! I'm an idiot!"
— Kelly Osbourne


  • In the episode, we find out that Jack has only been banned from one club while Kelly has been banned from many.
  • According to the commentary, Ozzy never actually woke up after Kelly loud drunkenness, despite it being shown otherwise.
  • Kelly claims she never made an emergency call and says Sharon made the story up, Sharon denies this and claims otherwise.
  • The episode name shares the same name as the Nirvana song Smells Like Teen Spirit.